I wish my doctor didn’t have to call my house ever and that my world as I knew it when it came to my health was different. I wish I knew my precise purpose in my life, so that I could skip the bullshit and get to the astonishing parts. I wish that lying was never heard of and that no matter what people told the truth. I’ve always wished that insecurities weren’t created. Everyone is different, everyone has their own splendor and I wish they understood that. I wish I understood that. I wish for peace; I'm not just saying that to be derivative, but I do. I wish that people would stop telling me that over thinking is bad. I have a mind of an artist because I over think. How do you think those famous painters and rappers and singers got to where they are? They are over thinkers. We don’t over think and have uncertainties; we have doubts then over think. So either way we are still going to have doubts about things. We're still going to speculate if were good enough. Or question why it had to be us. I wish hurt didn’t exist and that the first person you actually were really in love with was the one you would be with without end. I wish I didn’t have to go through the things that I go through with my family. I wish that promises that were made were kept and secrets weren’t secrets because you could tell anyone anything and you wouldn’t have to agonize about them telling someone else. I wish we all died at the same time so that I wouldn’t have to deal with death and losing someone I love, it would be impossible, but I still wish it. I wish my grandpa didn’t have a stroke and that we could still play dominoes in the garage and ride our bikes to seven eleven. I don’t care how much older I am, I don’t think I could ever give up doing that with him. I wish I had Regina and Deangelo's relationship with my significant other, they are just so cute.I wish warren would look at me and smile more often, because he has no idea how much that melts my insides. I wish people would stop doubting me and him as a couple. I wish my parents could get a divorce; they’re not good together and they need to figure it out. I wish my family in Atlanta were much closer. I wish all my family was closer. It seems like my farther out family is a thousand times better then my immediate family. I wish that I made better decisions in high school. I wish I didn’t put others feelings in front of mine. I wish Greg never called me out and said that "it seems like a new guy for you Sasha, every week". I could have avowed I was trying for it to not be that way. I wish that I never had to think about moving to Texas. I wish Texas could go to mother fucking hell...along with everyone in it. I wish you wouldn’t arbitrate me; I'm not a mean person. I wish my group of friends could realize how much we all just adore each other; and that no matter what we’ve all impacted each other’s lives in so many ways. I wish they realized how much they and their families mean so much to me. I wish that we’d all realize no matter what we’d be true to at least each other before we were to other people that aren’t in our group. I wish Paloma understood that some of the things she believes in aren’t ethically right. That you don’t think you are superior everyone else, because you’re a good person, so why say it? I wish that Ryan...wasn’t so dysfunctional.
Ugh Ill finish this later; my eyes are getting super heavy.
All is love, peace; and happiness,
Sasha.
