Had to post this up;

This was actually from a story i had to right & put together from my last class.
He wanted to see something from the past; that we thought was really good.



How do you carry out your emotions and tear them apart. The thoughts you have; where do you position them. Where it hurts the slightest or right in front to let them elsewhere and surmount your existence. What if come to find out you can’t defeat them. Your ever so being right in the eyes of strangers you let your heart set off and come to find out…You can’t conquer them. What if all you thought and understood was in the wrong. Or the feelings, friendships, strengths you built that took years you have to flee. What if it was the only thing you can do; run. What if, no one knew the genuine you. The one person you let love, existence and certainty take over with, and turns out he/she could care less. Without thinking about it do you comprehend how many people you hurt in a lifetime? Without thinking about it how many people have you beyond doubt helped and been there for. Your tears make up a story. When you cry it may perhaps be for one reason or for me countless reasons breaking me down all at once. I may perhaps sit here and divulge all the things going wrong right at this moment, And the few things going right. However, I’m not...all I’m going to say is that it has to get better. Our perfect example of being our complete faults and loves; is needed to be established. In two months I have to find out how I’m going to live the rest of my life. What I believe to be my faults and my loves and that utter silences have power over my internal soul. In two months I need to find elsewhere who I am to become. In two months I have to build every reminiscence to be a superior one. I want to assist as many people as achievable. I want to feel affection for someone with all my spirit, mind and heart, strength and even body. There is a burning desire to position god first and believe in myself. Inside all those things; this radiance overcomes me.

These feelings came all together erupting at one time. The day where the end; was the beginning. Where I realized things will be different for the rest of my life; Graduation. We walked the walk...head up high. No one ever worried about what came next. What comes next? I didn’t have one idea. I’m not talking in relation to going to parties and getting wasted. I by no means do that in the first place. I mean with the rest of my existence, my future. It’s not happily ever after and it on no account will be. I’ve grown up knowing that it will always be a struggle. I don’t believe that my parents showed me an inkling of it being happy. I was never dispossessed as a matter of fact, I was spoiled really, but I’ve never remembered my parents make clear to me that it’s not for eternity about wealth. I went to school and it was always about name brands and how much money you have, never about how good of a person you are. What irked me the most was it is almost precisely as if you were watching those dense kid shows on television about status and being categorized. Is that how sorry high school was? Well it’s over I could care less about what people think but I’m about to shit in my fucking pants. I sucked in high school, I just about graduated and I’m theoretically to go to college? I want to, but I have to convert who I am if I’m going to make it; which makes me bemused. Should I leave? If I move I’ll have an innovative start. I want to be myself and not muse on who I hang out with. I need to contemplate on school. I mean, I really don’t grasp what’s stopping me from leaving in the first place. Could it possibly be him?