soo i know im supposed to finish tellin you about my friends but i think im going to skip that for now becuase i need to vent, I'm pretty pissed off about now. He doesnt love me he doesnt care. I dont know why i cant tell him i'm done and i'm over all this bull shit he puts me through. Its coming out to be just like my other relationship with The Unspeakable. I'm starting to think that maybe its worse. I dont know where to put my thoughts tho. I'm not even sure if its okay that im saying this stuff...maybe im just thinking too muchh. Everyone says i'm thinking too muchh..Ami thinking too much. But they cant blame me ive been through so mch when it comes to guys..ya know?i dont even know where to begin to tell you but i know im being walked all overr. but no matter what i do i cant let him go..because i love him theres nothing in me that will tell him to just leave. Because he tellls me all the time that hes trying to change how much he cares and that im thee only one. And that i'm the one that he will always come back too. And lately theres been more good then bad..soo maybe i'm just being selfishh..idk its either he treats me amazing or treats me horribly.
And im not asking him to buy me expensive things or alll the commercial stuff..i ust want his love his attention his care..just the stupid unsuperficial stuff. ughh its frustrating..i lost my virginity to him and i think that could be why..I didnt want to i didnt plan it either & it was also in the bathroom of the house that i babysit at while i was babysitting and he was over..ugh hes playing me isnt he see how i think too much? Ive vented enough. All im saying is that i love him; nd im sticking around as long as possible..im not ready to be hurt again..i'm not.
Theres one thing that i reallized today;
I hate losing someone i love.
Love not war;
Sasha
btw; WAtching narnia the second movie.
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